Somewhere along the line of growing up I became a different person. I do not remember when the transition began, or how it happened, and if it ever ended. I just know I grew up becoming a stranger in my own body. looking back at my life I start recalling different memories and frown , why do I stand here and not in the past in my precious memories ? How did time fly by so fast , I haven’t had enough of that life. Then one by one they start gushing and I long for myself to go back , I truly hadn’t had enough. Time flies by and I don’t get to appreciate the unfolding events in my life , I don’t get to cherish the passing moments , it never lasts enough, My future instantly becomes a remote past. I look back and I feel empty my present holds nothing dear to me and my past full of things I don’t know how I failed to hold on to. So now I feel like an imposter in my own body, I feel indifferent to what has yet to come , and I cant tolerate to remember what had past, for I cannot relive it and remembering it brings no joy to me anymore.
Author: How I view it
Injustice
Injustice, a mere word that brings horrid memories and thoughts crumbling down on us
Injustice, an evil man’s right
Injustice, a spectrum of uncountable crimes
Injustice, oh how can I be just to them who suffered you
Injustice, a crushing force that leaves its victims screeching in pain
And does anyone listen ?
Injustice, how will you give them back what was lost
Injustice, how will death come back to life
Injustice, how will they carry on living
Injustice, why can’t the truth be told
Injustice a black hole that leaves everything tainted
How does human feel
Respect knows you not
You have fallen too deep this time
And maybe every time
Your soul is inches away from death
Suffering was its loving mother that never let go
You keep sending daggers its way
Never had the time to heal
It forget what human feels
How does human feel?
I think not all of us are lucky to know
How human really feels…
You never mattered less
you never mattered less
I just sealed you away
away from my conscious
I pretend to ignore you
till feelings of you went dull
till I felt nothing
till you didn’t matter much on the surface
I had to move on
I needed to survive
I needed to understand what I have to do with my life
don’t hate me for letting go
our hands don’t touch anymore
but you’re still there within
it will never change
it can never change
although life will move on
and we both will matter not
You became a building block in my life
I owe you too much
in life even when u no longer exist for me
your scoldings and gentle words will forever tag alone
so please accept my deepest apologies and believe me when I say
I wish we never had to let go
I wish we never met
Chaos
Eyes that search for an answer
Scanning the horizon for a clue
Nothing is as it seems
There is no depth beyond the scenes
The world is falling in silence to her ears
Everyone is talking but no, she cannot hear
Out there, sense is not to be sought
Within her even black holes were full of hope
The peaceful fall
Straight ahead white walls are seen
My vision is blind to anything real
My ears refuse to hear as I surround myself with silence
No one speaks
I’m at peace my inner world has settled down for me
I am beyond reach
You have just lost me
My lungs can’t breath
The weight of the oceans surround me
I close my eyes
Accepting the end of me
I often
I often feel I am two within one
I often feel I am no one
I often feel I have no color
I often feel I don’t know what I am
I often feel lost with no clear edges
A transparent surface that leads to no conclusion
A creature living for a benefit
A benefit it knows not
I often feel I wont make it
There is no destination in mind
I often feel this won’t end happily
and it is often that I am right