Memories

Somewhere along the line of growing up I became a different person. I do not remember when the transition began, or how it happened, and if it ever ended. I just know I grew up becoming a stranger in my own body.  looking back at my life I start recalling different memories and frown , why do I stand here and not in the past in my precious memories ? How did time fly by so fast , I haven’t  had enough of that life. Then one by one they start gushing and I long for myself to go back , I truly hadn’t had enough. Time flies by and I don’t get to appreciate the unfolding events in my life , I don’t get to cherish the passing moments , it never lasts enough, My future instantly becomes a remote past. I look back and I feel empty my present holds nothing dear to me and my past full of things I don’t know how I failed to hold on to. So now I feel like an imposter in my own body, I feel indifferent to what has yet to come , and I cant tolerate to remember what had past, for I cannot relive it and remembering it brings no joy to me anymore.

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Injustice

Injustice, a mere word that brings horrid memories and thoughts crumbling down on us
Injustice, an evil man’s right 
Injustice, a spectrum of uncountable crimes 
Injustice, oh how can I be just to them who suffered you 
Injustice, a crushing force that leaves its victims screeching in pain
And does anyone listen ?
Injustice, how will you give them back what was lost
Injustice, how will death come back to life  
Injustice, how will they carry on living
Injustice, why can’t the truth be told
Injustice a black hole that leaves  everything tainted

How does human feel

Respect knows you not

You have fallen too deep this time

And maybe every time

Your soul is inches away from death

Suffering was its loving mother that never let go

You keep sending daggers its way

Never had the time to heal

It forget what human feels

How does human feel?

I think not all of us are lucky to know

How human really feels…

 

You never mattered less

you never mattered less
I just sealed you away
away from my conscious
I pretend to ignore you
till feelings of you went dull
till I felt nothing
till you didn’t matter much on the surface
I had to move on
I needed to survive
I needed to understand what I have to do with my life
don’t hate me for letting go
are hands don’t touch anymore
but you’re still there within
it will never change
it can never change
although life will move on
and we both will matter not
You became a building block in my life
I owe you too much
in life even when u no longer exist for me
your scolding and gentle words will forever tag alone
so please accept my deepest apologies and believe me when I say
I wish we never had to let go
I wish we never met

 

 

Chaos

Eyes that search for an answer

Scanning the horizon for a clue

Nothing is as it seems

There is no depth beyond the scenes

The world is falling in silence to her ears

Everyone is talking but no, she cannot hear

Out there, sense is not to be sought

Within her even black holes were full of hope

The peaceful fall

Straight ahead white walls are seen
My vision is blind to anything real
My ears refuse to hear as I surround myself with silence
No one speaks
I’m at peace my inner world has settled down for me
I am beyond reach
You have just lost me
My lungs can’t breath
The weight of the oceans surround me
I close my eyes
Accepting the end of me

I often

I often feel I am two within one
I often feel I am no one
I often feel I have no color
I often feel I don’t know what I am
I often feel lost with no clear edges
A transparent surface that leads to no conclusion
A creature living for a benefit
A benefit it knows not
I often feel I wont make it
There is no destination in mind
I often feel this won’t end happily 
and it is often that I am right